Tag Archive | marriage

Time to Let Guilt Go


First let me thank my ultimate motivator who has no problem calling me out on updating Under Her Brim. What can I say, I’m an organized mess and it still takes a village to nudge me along to keep my mess organized. So to you I say Thanks! – I hear you and appreciate you (and all of the Under Her Brim followers!!) here…. have some Skittles. Continue reading

This firefighter-paramedic proposed to the domestic violence victim he helped save

Did you see this article? A victorious Survivor! Hey you…yes, YOU reading this….You ARE amazing! ~ Stay Fabulous!

by Elahe Izadi

safe_imageMelissa Dohme — a domestic violence survivor and advocate — stepped to the plate and prepared to throw out the first pitch at Monday night’s Tampa Bay Rays game. Her boyfriend, Cameron Hill, ran out on the field and handed her the ball. Scribbled on it were four words: “Will you marry me?”

A surprised Dohme kissed Hill, marveled at her ring and somehow still managed to throw the pitch.

She also said yes.

The pair first crossed paths on Jan. 24, 2012. Dohme had been stabbed 32 times by her ex-boyfriend. Hill, a firefighter-paramedic, found Dohme covered in blood and on the pavement outside of her house in Clearwater.

“It was so bad. You couldn’t tell she was blond,” Hill told the Tampa Bay Times in 2013. Hill loaded Dohme onto the helicopter. He later said “for some reason, I didn’t think it would be the last time I was going to see her.”

Dohme’s ex-boyfriend, Robert Lee Burton Jr., had stabbed her repeatedly in the face and neck. Two bystanders called 911 during the horrific attack that began when Burton came by Dohme’s house to give her a hug, according to prosecutors.

Burton pleaded guilty to attempted murder and was sentenced to life without parole.

[Nearly a third of U.S. women have experienced domestic violence]

“Both of their lives will never be the same,” the judge said during the sentencing hearing.

But, Dohme told WFLA in 2013: “By a miracle, I am still here.”

From the Tampa Bay Times:

Melissa, then 20, spent three weeks in the hospital, flat-lining four times and suffering nerve damage that partly paralyzed one side of her face. To the surprise of her doctors, she left rehab walking on her own. She traveled to Europe. She went back to school, her drive to become a nurse even stronger.

In the fall of 2012, two of her first responders surprised her when she spoke at a church. Cameron was one. They hugged, and made plans to meet again.

“I had this feeling about him,” she said.

By December, the two were dating. Dohme said in 2013 that part of her doesn’t want to be upset anymore about what happened in 2012 “because I met Cameron out of it.”

Dohme went on to become an advocate for domestic violence survivors and repeatedly shared her story about tragedy and triumph. She threw the first pitch at Monday’s game as a representative of Hands Across the Bay, a nonprofit supporting Tampa Bay families.

“If you believe there’s good in the world then you’ll find it,” Dohme said in 2013. “I believe he’s the answer to my prayers that I’ve prayed all the time.”

Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/early-lead/wp/2015/05/12/emt-proposes-at-rays-game-to-domestic-violence-victim-he-helped-save/

GFQ: Would You Marry YOU?

As I drive along listening to the radio, the announcer shares her experience at a couples bride_mirrorretreat and then poses the question….Would YOU marry YOU?

Whether you are single, divorced, engaged or “it’s complicated” (thanks Facebook for a new ambiguous title to add to the relationship confusion) – the question itself is an excellent one for your personal assessment of YOU. Truth is, until you are comfortable with YOU and enjoy YOU….marriage should be the last thing on your mind. Continue reading

Sold out for a First Lady Hat and Parking Space

People that know me will be nodding their heads to what I am about to say – in the past I was NOT a fan of Iyanla Vanzant. There…. I said it out-loud. Nope, I did not like the award 20130216193114!Iyanla,_Fix_My_Life_Title_Cardwinning, Oprah validated, Sistah Friend, Yesterday I Cried, In the Valley author.  I can almost hear you saying – “WHAT? Iyanla is awesome, Diva you are out of touch….not like Iyanla….there is something really wrong with you…! Where is the sisterly love and support in that?” My feelings were based on her philosophy of the Universe and not God formulated my opinion of her. It was that simple. Judge if you want, my thoughts, my views, my opinion. Daddy used to say they (opinions) are like bellybuttons (he used a different anatomic part but I’m going to keep it clean) everybody has one.

However, as ‘life’ happened to Iyanla – I’ve seen a change, I hear her acknowledging God, I see a more genuine spirit of love in her and as a ‘fruit inspector’ I am seeing more in her fruit than in her eloquence of speech and her signature endearing term that she calls everyone  – Beloved.

Now with that out of the way, let’s move on to what is under this former First Lady Brim.  1In an episode of “Iyanla: Fix My Life,” Iyanla travels to Louisiana to help a couple in crisis. The husband, a pastor, admits to cheating on his wife with about 20 women over the course of his 10-year marriage. Many of his mistresses are members of his congregation… and one of these women gave birth to his child. His wife, Natashia, wrote to Iyanla asking for help in deciding whether to stay or to go. Continue reading