Sometimes you have to just suck it up… and this was one of those times. Midnight snacking in the kitchen I swore a shadow moved under the radiator. Nahh…I poo-pooed it away. To cast out all doubt the mysterious shadow was boldly sashaying across the front of my fireplace a day later. Yup, it was a &*^#% mouse. Those of you who follow UHB know the water bug incident. If not, go check that out. First I sent 3 of my loving kids a group text announcing my discovery in hopes to be rescued by one of my sons and simultaneously alerting my daughter in case she runs into our visitor (she still lives at home). Not one of them appeared in an OSHA suit carrying a sterilized laboratory acrylic hazmat container to remove the intruder. I heard where you see one there is usually a family so my overactive imagination turned my house into that scene from Wanted with the dump truck full of bomb strapped rodents. I’ll be sure to stomp loudly, turn the light on, cough & wait 2 minutes before I walk in the room so the mouse family can run and hide when I want a drink of water.
The sons have moved out so there is no testosterone around to go on a mouse hunt at this exact moment. Suck it up, I tell myself. Time to take matters into my own hands —I scream “OK GOOGLE” (beep beep) – ‘ways to get rid of a mouse’. Good ‘ole Google is always ready (thanks kids) and instructs: Spray the perimeter with peppermint oil & strategically place peppermint oil soaked cotton balls. I can do that! To Giant I go for peppermint extract (don’t judge me the herb store was closed) and viola, my kitchen smelled like a bleached candy cane. That’ll learn him to mess with me.
The next day there was evidence that Mickey basically played with and defaced the cotton balls. What a jerk! He totally disrespected my humane repellent & literally crapped on it!! Time to buy a mousetrap. Sounds simple – but it wasn’t. There I was in Lowes with 25 options. No, I don’t want a glue trap (yuck), I don’t want the one that snaps (ewww), per the reviews these sonic lights don’t work. No I don’t want it to eat poison and decay somewhere in the house stinking so I can play ‘find the smell’ for eons either. I bought the ‘humane’ trap that they walk in but don’t get mutilated. SOLD! Did I mention that while I was being helped in the isal, a mouse popped out of nowhere and the friendly man helping me – bolted. It was more like he was trying to be cool while I ran knocking all kinds of displays over. I cannot make this stuff up!
After setting the traps I didn’t give a 2 minute lighted preview of my arrival into the kitchen. I had a renewed boldness and dared Mickey to appear. About a week later the trap had been tripped!! Safely kneeling in kitchen chairs, my daughter and I peer at the little white box wondering if the broom tipped it or if there was really a Mickey in there. Shhhhh…..do you hear that? There is a mouse in there! OOHHH EMMM GEEEE!!!!
Now remember, I was intentional about the type of trap to buy because I didn’t want to deal with guts, blood or yuck of any kind. Never thought about getting rid of a trap with a LIVE mouse in it. CUE the freakin’ HAZMAT SUIT WEARING PEOPLE. None appeared.
The next 15 minutes of strategic planning my daughter and I shared were complex. Diagrams, blueprints, 50 page report from the Army Corps of Engineers and a video conference with our advisor (my Mom) who was helpful adding colorful commentary like – oohhh I hear it calling for backup, you guys better hurry up! We have a plan.
Using a shovel, the Swiffer and trash bag we executed our plan. Kneeling in our safe place (the chairs) she holds the trash bag while I slide the trap into it using the shovel as the Swiffer holds the bag down. (she loudly protested me hitting it like a croquet ball). The younger legs will then sprint the bag to the trashcan on the curb (the front door was already propped open). Our first attempt had the trap sliding across the floor pushing the bag along. The loud squealing escalated in volume & pitch making my heart beat out of control. Finally I told my daughter to stop all that noise, Mom stop laughing (she was still advising us via video) –EVERYONE CALM DOWN!!! My sheer frustration ended the saga. Lift and slide…trap in bag….repeating ‘ewww…ewww…ewwww’ over and over my daughter sprinted the bag to the curb. Bleach & mop the entire kitchen- lather, rinse & repeat.
In hindsight it was a hilarious situation but a reminder that sometimes in life we have to suck it up & get it done no matter how uncomfortable it is Under Our Brim.