There are some things that have started to happen with my friends and I which has made us consider the possibility that we are getting finer with time. Does any of these sound familiar? If so, you may also be uhm…adulting.
When the fear of having your naked skin touch a public toilet seat will have you bruise yourself ricocheting around the bathroom stall bouncing from wall to wall when your knee buckles (which it never has done before) during the ‘hover’ method. – you may be adulting (and yes this really did happen).
When you extend your phone as far as your arms can go away from your face to see that snaptwitterfacegram post and then you pinch it to make it bigger, but it won’t get bigger because it’s not on your phone (as your annoyed teen reminds you)- you are probably adulting.
If anyone in your friend circle is called or uses the term ‘lady-friend'(which sounds old as the velvet black light wall pictures), fiance (when they are not engaged) or beau instead of the term boyfriend/girlfriend – you are way past adulting (especially if you remember those black light pictures).
If you shriek —OOohhh Stevie Wonder, this is my jaaaammmm—and bust out singing ‘Don’t You Worry ’bout a Thing’ when you hear that calypso sounding opening and your kid chastises you with that know-it-all tone and say it’s not Stevie but it’s John Legend from the movie Hitch….well that has nothing to do with adulting, kids know everything (NOT!). The fact that you know the originals to what is being sampled in most songs today–THAT shows you are adulting
When you see grown-folks posting things on social media that makes you quit the internet because you think they should know better because they SHOULD be adulting … Lets just skip to a fictional example or 2:
- Monday’s Post: Why do people hate, just because I know people and already bought my kid the Xbox Platinum 2 that doesn’t comes out until next year, doesn’t mean I don’t work hard for mines. (no one is hating on you, your materialistic childlike post sharing the inventory of your home just has people at a loss for words)
- Tuesday’s Post: Got laid off today but it’s ok-God’s got it. Sitting here waiting for my new furniture to be delivered. God is so good, here I am unemployed but still blessed by the best. (Good for you, unemployed and your focus is on a new living room set–way to go!).
- Wednesday’s Post: Look at what I cooked for dinner because I love my family (as if not displaying every meal prepared in YOUR kitchen somehow signals that you don’t love yours. Spoiler alert….no one wants to see your runny food on the cookout paper plate. If you don’t de-grease ANYTHING in your kitchen and have not in years, do NOT take a picture showing the world your food and a kitchen in a state of questionable cleanliness)
- Thursday’s Post: (insert duck-lip selfie one plane/in car/on bus here): Work hard play hard, leaving town for a quick get away, ya’ll stay blessed!
- Saturday’s Post: I can’t believe someone came in here and robbed me. I am a good person who would help anyone and would have given it to you – you didn’t have to come in here and steal from me. (Sorry to hear this no one should have this happen
– unfortunately they knew from your posts all the contents of your home and that no one was there.)
- Monday’s Post: Does anyone know of a company that is hiring? Looking for a job so please inbox me. (No comment needed here – this is when I quit the internet)
Finally (for now because we have many more signs of adulting to discuss) – if you find yourself running back in the room to grab your remote, rewind and then nod in agreement at the medicine commercials ….yup, you know what it is. The paid spokesperson theatrically asks ‘Do you have trouble sleeping on your left side?’ ‘When you wash your hands, do your nails get wet?’ ‘Have you ever stubbed your toe?’ –at this point–you just sat down on the couch nodding, remote in hand to hear the rest. — dahling, you are most definitely adulting Under your Brim.