I once heard that dreams are like grapes on a vine – if they don’t get nurtured to grow they dry up and turn into raisins. I say that is true about almost anything….relationships, careers, goals (fill-in-the-blank-with-your-word-here) and so on and so on.
Let’s closely examine one of these pending raisins. I am sure you can relate to one of the items that has moved you closer to raisin-hood on this subject. Don’t deny it, unless you live under a rock you–yes YOU have had a part in this. With the prevalence of text messaging, email, do-it-yourself-check-out lanes, online shopping/banking and those stupid automated phone systems. One that I have to say is the MOST irritating is the kiosk on my table where the waiter doesn’t even give me a bill for my shrimp scampi – I pay there at the table. Yes people, there is something else that is drying up like raisins and becoming one of the rarest of art forms. The Art of Conversation.
Because of this phenomenon or fading art, there is a direct impact on the most core tenant of relationships–communication. Ok, I heard that you can grow-up and calm down…relationships are not just romantic so this isn’t some passive aggressive moment to share with your boy/girlfriend/spouse/love of your life.
Per Merriam Webster Simple Definition of relationship. : the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other. : a romantic or sexual friendship between two people. : the way in which two or more people or things are connected. there are relationships
Some basic common sense items that don’t appear to be common sense at all pertaining to text/emails need to be followed. Keep in mind – text messages are great for conveying a quick note. If you’re text message spills into three separate messages…that is no longer a text but an email. Also note a text is something that should be responded to in a decent time frame…hence it being sent as a text.
Example: “At store – do we need milk?” should not be responded to 3 hours later. Nothing is more irksome to the sender – especially when you know the person is consistently tethered to their phone. To eliminate this frustration, I prefer the old fashioned method. Dialing the phone. Open with a greeting – ‘Hello’ and continue from there. This method is efficient and it reduces angst, anxiety and frustration waiting for the person to see your text (or give excuses as to why they have not responded). I am not going to delve into the world of Fakebook right now, but it is another irritating dagger aiding in the destruction of the art of conversation.
So find your voice people! Remember to say Hello when the person answers. Ask if it’s a good time for them to talk (most of the time people don’t answer if they can’t talk) and don’t be nervous the other person will be glad to hear a human voice and participate in a genuine conversation. One of the best lines I heard was on the Carmichael Show. Cynthia (Loretta Devine) went on a rant (and I am paraphrasing) about how she bought a longer phone cord to then buy a cordless phone so that she could get a cellphone and now people only send texts no one calls her. Stand your ground my friends! Let your voices be heard! Open your mouths! Use the lanes with cashier! Let the tone, pitch and inflection of your voice once again convey your emotions instead of emoticons! Take the first step in reviving the dying art of conversation by simply communicating with people from Under Your Brim.