Pity Party (RSVP not Required)

motherjugglingI had a conversation with my Mom (who is a single parent) about how tired I am of just being. I whined about everything and blew up the BIG pity balloons at my on-the-spot-pity party that I was throwing for myself.  “Mommy I am just tired of being the everything decision maker, medical personnel, provider of all- food, clothing, shelter, needs & wants” —I whined. Taxi. Education Director. Juggler. Detective. Advocate. Cheerleader. Prayer Warrior. Disciplinarian. Entertainment Manager. Milk-Picker-Upper. Papers-Filler-Outer. Single income bringer-inner. Clothing Merchandiser. (I went on and on). For every thought or thing I want to do I have to consider impact on the lives of others. Plans to do anything requires a project matrix plan to position everyone where they want or need to be.”  I went on “….think about it Mom, if a kid is acting out or refuses to wear clean clothes — the FIRST thing people say is…where is that child’s mother? They don’t know battle that took place that morning over the laundry….I’m over it!”  My mother listened, uhm-hmmed in understanding and reminded me that God is able to keep and sustain me. She extended the love and patience a tantrum throwing child needs, while talking me away from the edge. You would think after all of this soothing conversation that I felt better….but in actuality I felt worse.pity-party I know that God IS….so who am I to dare complain. The nerve! Who am I to complain to a woman who did the same for my brothers and me. I am sooo sure I acted as appreciative as these creatures living in my house and really hoped that I didn’t. Instantly I re-regained respect for the work my mother had done and continues as Mom to do. I suddenly could recognize  the prayers she ushered, frustrations I am sure she felt, the same woes I was on the phone with her about – Mom had been there and done that.

My resume will now highlight a job that I have held for over 19 years and it will be summed up in one word. In this job I sit with my team in the conference room with laptops, cellphones and tablets all open on the conference room (kitchen) table. We discuss strategy for the coming week and synchronize the team calendars which include (but is not limited to) Girl Scouts, orchestra concerts &  competitions, sports practices, field trips, graduation, college visits, business trips, ministry/board/club meetings, hair & nail appointments, birthday celebrations, conference calls (video & phone), doctors appointments. While being responsible or the team schedule, this job simultaneously managing the budget, acquires supplies, food & nutrition, arranges transportation, troubleshoots HVAC issues and building repairs. This job is not salaried and is on duty 24 hours a day. YUP! I’m a MOM!

Shout Out to the Moms who do it all day & everyday. To those who encourage when the other Mom is on her last leg & swinging from the knot at the end of her rope.  Be Encouraged!! While the struggle sometimes seem unbearable and my shoulders feel like they are too small to carry another thing, I remember that God used my children to save my life as I looked at this too-big-to-handle responsibility from Under my Brim.

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