Church is not for the Faint of Heart

“C’mon, we’re going to be late” I heard blast through the house. “I’m COMING!!!!” (I screamed back). Good Grief! It’s easy for you to be on time. After I deal with getting the kids ready, can I have a moment to slip on some lip gloss for goodness sake.  – I gotta get these kids together without starting a third world war or it will be a looonnngggg service…..for me in the pew.

It was the Full Gospel Baptist Church Fellowship District meeting (or something like that) being held at a church in Chester, Philly, NJ….or somewhere that required an extended period of time with antsy kids in the car. Sunday School and Morning service at our church…run home, get some food together, grab a bite to eat, change the pants that a stain somehow jumped on my son,  replace the missing barrettes and re-braid my daughters hair, clean up and back on the road again to get there on time.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Lord and worship is how I express my love; however, the Lord knows that I am exhausted every Sunday trying to be a worshiper and an attentive mother. I don’t want my children to disrupt the service or interrupt another worship so I sit on pins-and-needles….hoovering, watching, waiting to deal with a fidgety kid, a bathroom run, the loud “STOP IT!!’ when one touches another all while looking poised and together, follow the service and actually hearing a Word….I am WORN OUT. 

In stark contrast to all of this multi-tasking from the chair, there is the pulpit people (including the father of these children I am cutting my eyes at and curling my lips right at this moment). Look at him….thoroughly enjoying every moment of service, at peace, in the Word. No one on his lap, no one making car sounds kneeling on the pew, no one asking for a mints or asking for help finding Luke in the bible all while doling out money for the offering (and making sure they put it in the offering plate). He sits there with the facade of a true worshiper while I struggle to keep from screaming ENOUGH!!! at the top of my lungs and running out of the church waving my hands in the air throwing toys and mints. He is singing with the praise team while I am thinking about the long ride home, these tired children, getting them ready for Monday a sliver of time for me to shower before I crash and get this fun-bus running again the next morning, please Lord…don’t let him think he’s getting as much as a kiss tonight.

 It never got to this point in reality but no matter how hard I tried, in my mind, this is what it looked like to others if I didn’t maintain control of my crew…..

No mother has it easy so please don’t take what I’m about to say as an indicator that one works harder than the other, but the mother of a church leader kid (or kids) does not have a day of rest on Sunday. This sister is holding it together by a thread under her Church Hat. It is work to maintain her sanity, the ridiculous expectations that the congregation puts on her as the First Lady (that they are not even able to live up to), managing her children, praising God….alone. There is nothing glamorous about this life, regardless of how it looks on the surface, church is NOT for the faint of heart….especially if you are looking out at it from under my church brim.


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