Never!! Never!! NEVER!!!
I NEVER thought I would see the day when I was in a domestic violence situation. I am smarter than that. I know what domestic violence is….I’ve seen it in my childhood and vowed it would never happen to me. No man will ever do to me, the things that I’ve seen my Mother endure. Never.
What I didn’t know then that my own experiences and training has taught me is that it was a gradual progression centered on power and control. An abuser doesn’t just meet you and slap you around, they systematically progress. Before I knew it, I was sitting in our apartment in tears….wondering what happened to the person I thought loved and cared for me? Why does he treat me like he hates me? What did I do to deserve this? Why can’t I be happy? How in the world did I get HERE?!
Domestic Violence is horrible. What is just as bad is how it becomes a sensationalized hot topic (complete with slogans, logos and commercials) when there is a celebrity involved, only to fade out of the discussion spotlight until it happens to another star. Here is a newsflash….the victims, abusers and effects don’t stop. The media isn’t there helping tell these stories or hear the cries of victims, families, children….all asking….How did I get Here?
For years I kept quiet about my abuse. Ashamed that I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was and allowed this to happen. Embarrassed that my fairy tale had turned into my personal horror story that no one would understand. How did I become a victim? That word shows weakness and we were raised to be empowered, bold and strong!! What could I do to avoid being part of the statistics of something that is not a respecter of geography, race, financial status, sex or educational accomplishments? How did I get here? One day I decided not to allow my experiences hold me back. I take charge of the only life that I have and I decide that I am not a victim, I am in fact…..victorious. I am free! Free to tap into my God-given strength, free to no longer allow my abuser power over me, free to share, free to grow, free to live and free to embrace my experiences from under my tattered brim.