Archive | September 11, 2014

GFQ Results! Women don’t chose who they are going to be with…

Another oldie but goodie!

On April 20th 2010 this question went out….

This morning on the TJMS Jaqui was interviewing a newswoman (Julia Yarborough)  who quit her job and her and her girlfriend are on a tour in search of a man. (No joke…here is the site: in the interview she said that men have told her that in reality women don’t chose who they are going to be with…the men do.

So Girlfriends is this statement  True or False?

….and the Girlfriends responded:

  • “False, false and false.  Women just let men THINK they are choosing us.  It’s just that we most often regret the choices we make in men.”
  • “True and false -Both have to choose the other because if one rejects the other (regardless of the sex), then the other is never chosen.”
  • “The men who have told her that are single.  I’d bet money.”

What about you….what thought do you have under your brim?


GFQ Results – Difference between Naughty and Nasty!

While migrating all of the posts over the Girlfriend Question of the Day page is up for moving…..I forgot how funny these were!!!  Oldie but goodie. Enjoy!

Here are the results from the April 9th Girlfriend Question!!!

Girlfriend Question

Girlfriend Question

The question (fill in the blank):

The difference between naughty and nasty is__________.

…and here are the results (hold on to your hat….we are not here to judge!!!)

  • one is quality and the other quantity.
  • the story he tells his friends
  • The players involved!
  • time and place.
  • the expiration date.
  • the audience.
  • fa-breeze and bleach.
  • Naughty is when you forget to take a shower, and nasty is when you just don’t want to.
  • Naughty is playing footsie under the table at a restaurant, Nasty is getting under the table.

It’s not too late, share your thoughts from under YOUR brim!

Do You Feel Guilty as a Working Mom? Scripture provides encouragement as you work and raise a family

Do You Feel Guilty as a Working Mom?

 Source: Blog | American Bible Society News


My alarm rings and I get out of bed, grab both kids and head downstairs for breakfast (juice and a cereal bar for myself). After I feed the kids, I turn the TV on, hoping 20 minutes of cartoons will give me enough time to shower and get dressed.

working-motherIt doesn’t. I have to mediate an argument between my 3-year-old son and my 13-month-old daughter, get them dressed, in the car, (big sigh!) and off to school. Both kids settle in their classrooms, and I even manage to bring the diapers, wipes and sunscreen permission slip!

Now off to work. I arrive at my cubicle in time to send out an email with the agenda and PowerPoint presentation for tomorrow’s meeting. And it’s only 9:47 am!

If this sounds like a typical morning to you, then you probably have the dual responsibility of maintaining a busy career while raising children. Yes, you’re a working mom.

And for whatever reason–whether you need the income or you love what you do—raising a family and having a career is not easy. On any given day, you may feel frustrated, exhausted, stressed.

One emotion I feel is GUILT.

Even after months of doing the get-the-kids-off-to-school-then-go-to-work routine, I continually question myself: Am I making the right choice? Will my kids be OK? Am I spending too much time away from them? Will they recognize me when I pick them up?

After several melt downs and many tears in the ladies’ room, I turn to the Bible. The words of Isaiah 40:11 strike me: He carries the lambs in his arms while gently leading the mother sheep.”Whoa! This is the comfort I need–to know that he, the Great I Am, leads me today and every day. As I consider this verse, other thoughts come to mind:

He loves me.
He loves my children.
He’s helping me.
He’s guiding our futures.
He’s GENTLE with me as I work my way through this phase of life.

So whenever you’re feeling guilty about working, remember this: You may never master the art of balancing career while raising children, but you have a God who fills in the gaps. He will hold your hand and gently lead you through each day.

As for your children, commit them into his hands, open the Bible and claim these promises:

  1. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
    Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
  2.   “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.”
    John: 10:27-28 (NIV)
  3. “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved – you and your household.”
    Acts 16:31 (NIV)
  4. “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.”
    Isaiah 54:13 (NIV)

NenaPodburyNena Podbury is a project associate at American Bible Society. Originally from the Bronx, she served in children’s ministry for 12 years doing Sidewalk Sunday School. She has co-authored children’s curriculum called “Transformation Station” and is a contributing author to Reach Up Magazine which seeks to empower and enrich today’s inner city woman. Nena is married with two children, Noah and Emilia.

My Thinking Cap and The Butler

The Movie “The Butler”  & my Thinking Cap

I am destined for great things, opportunities and everyday offers adventures! Most recently there was an opportunity to pre-screen a movie before it was available for the ‘public’ ….well that just played right into my Diva-ness. A Movie Premier! Me! Ooohhh, I’m so excited!!. In my mind, I was going to walk the red carpet dressed in Hollywood Glam. There would be an awesome backdrop for me to have my picture taken, while smiling and doing the Ms. America wave.

Well, it didn’t quite look that way. It looked more like me getting out of my car at the King of Prussia theater, walking in with my co-worker, complaining at the price of popcorn and snacks, (no I didn’t by anything) and going in the theater marked “Special Event” for a seat.

OOOOhhh I am soooo excited to see this! THE BUTLER! I’ll try not to ruin it for you if you have not seen it as share my thoughts, rather my experience. Continue reading

Do you Wear a Halo or a Hoodie?

Do you Wear a Halo or Hoodie?

A universal comment that I find when having an honest conversation with people about a relationship with God is that they consider church folk – phoney.   The sad part is that in some cases they are right. Have we become so heavenly minded that we are of no earthly good? Did we forget that Christ met us at our needs no  matter where it was – the crack house, whore house, another woman’s/man’s house, the Hungry-house, the Poor House ….you get the point. The challenge is even more strenuous if there is a title in front of your name. Does the Reverend, Minister, First Lady, Pastor….(whichever the title) wear a Halo or a Hoodie?

One of the most scariest times of my life was when I went into the prison. I know that I am to reach out to Domestic Abuse survivors no matter where they are so I went. Yup I said it, I was nervous, scared. Don’t judge me and toss scripture, I know God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear but hearing those doors slam shut sent a shiver up my human spine, so I prayed.  As I went in with my Bible and my little handouts, I prayed that God would have His way even  while walking through the glass doors that lead into the lobby.  As I entered, my heals clacked and echoed off of the lockers and high ceiling filling the emptiness as I approached the round glass encased security-desk. The air even felt empty as if people walk through those doors and give up all hope, compassion, dreams, ideas….just empty acceptance of the fate behind those bars.

I present my ID, get my locker and go into the smaller waiting room where empty eyes of visiting relatives, friends and community programs glance over. I stop being so nervous as I look at how many broken families are represented in those 10-15 people sitting here. What are we doing for them? Praise dancing on Sunday and passing judgment on Monday? God are we so heavenly minded that we are really not doing any earthly good. Have we as salt, lost our savor?

The iron bars closing at the door where I just walked through, interrupt my thoughts and the sound made my heart race.  HERE WE GO!!  I watch waaaaaayyyy to much television and my imagination is very active (hey—don’t judge) because as that gate slammed shut sealing my ‘out’ and the other iron monster began to open up our access into the hallway of the prison, I started to see shanks, riots and SWAT all at once (in my head of course). I’m careful to walk down the hallway smack dab in the middle (even though I am the only one in it) so that the camera can see me….hmmmm what if they went to lunch and there is no one there.  The bars behind me have closed and I’ve walked what felt like a football field down the hall to the next gate which opens as soon as I get there (whew…there IS someone watching on the camera).

The classroom door is open and I go in and shut it behind me and then I pray again. I feel guilty for being afraid and for having a stereotype of the sisters that are coming into the room. I ask God to give me the words to say and that His daughters are brought closer to HIM.  I am so hyper alert at this point that when the 300 pound sister with the very short haircut grunted “I like your sweater” I almost threw it at her and ran out the door.  (Ok, make that face as you read this if you want to, I told you I have a vivid imagination fueled by television). I didn’t even see faces, just heard voices and began to hyperventilate a little.  I kept repeating prayer in my head and as the Spirit calmed me and my system started to come back to normal, I began to focused on the women that were coming in the door (asking God to forgive me for judging and making assumptions) I realized that I knew some of these women! We made small talk and I am super conscious and careful to just show love and compassion but being honest like…’you KNOW that you have better things to do other than being in here’. Now I am more at ease and we had an awesome time discussing God’s word.

The preconceived ideas of what ‘they’ would be like had me shook but God sent me there to see that these women were just like me…. daughters, sisters, mothers and most of all HIS. I didn’t see criminals, I saw women who were behind tons of steel but were more free and had more of a free praise and Love for God than the Halo wearing church folks on the outside.

Yes, we  can say ‘whatsup?!’ when someone says ‘Hey gurl’ and know what is going on with music, language, artists…etc. and wear a hoodie without ‘losing our salvation’ or being ‘worldly’. In whatever we do, we can’t be one way on Sunday and another on Monday….don’t wear your Halo on Sunday and Hoodie on Monday making you so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good…or seen as phoney.  Being consistent and comfortable in who we are allows for effective ministry that is not judgmental yet honest, meets people where they are (financially, educationally, mentally) and is most certainly to HIS glory. By the way…the woman who complimented my sweater (let’s call her Kate)….the one that made me nervous. Was the greatest joy to have met. As a group we shared in break-throughs, we wrestled with God’s Word together and we celebrated Kate’s release armed with a stronger relationship with God, the sword to guide her,and the decision that she would not return. It’s been about 7 years since  my first prison experience and praise God….Kate has not returned and still praises God from under her hoodie.

Stop that SOUND!!!!

depressed2The loud rushing sound in my ears was deafening.  I had to find it,  have to make that noise stop, have to find it so that it can just be QUIET!!!  I looked around the apartment, checked the refrigerator, the tv….no. Is it coming from outside? Maybe traffic on Upsal Street, there is a bus route here?  I check out of the windows…across the street at the other apartment complex….nothing. What in the hell is it??! Then it dawned on me that it was the sound the blood rushing through my body as I practically hyperventilated from the frantic search coupled with the schizophrenic beating of my heart.

His words were still bouncing around the apartment doing as much damage to me emotionally as if bullets were ricocheting and damaging the walls…..I’m leaving you. WHAT? I don’t know anyone here?! My family’s all pissed off because I moved and NOW he wants to leave? I can’t afford this place on my own? No one is really speaking to me. I could still feel the frozen look on my face as if botox injections had me stuck onhuh-nikka what???, as my brain went into overdrive trying to figure out what I did wrong.

My mouth open and closed soundlessly as a fish out of water, desperately gasping for air and then the sound….that deafening sound took over. I must look so stupid….but I love him! Looking at him from under my tattered brim the sound started to make sense, that sound that I wanted to silence….was the sound of my world crashing down around me as the only anchor I knew….was again threatening to pull away.